my way of thanking

February 7, 2010

No matter how serious life gets, you will constantly need the company of people whom you can completely be stupid with.

Random fleeting moments of happiness are priceless. These are the impulsive, spontaneous, mischievous, crazy experiences that aren’t that much big-a-deal for others when shared but are the moments you want to capture - take a mental picture/video - and put in your bottle of happy pills. Moments that when reminisced few years down the road will give you natural high no amount of antidepressant pills can replace.

This is my ode to my 2 greatest friends in ‘this’ time of my life - so let me count the few ways I feel so blessed:

1. For the long sessions as if we’ll never see again that soon. 

2. For the endless conversation topics we never seem to run out: the things we agree on, the things we agree to disagree on, and even the shutting off of things we know we’d never agree to disagree on.

3. For the laughters that will make hyenas pale in comparison.

4. For the (invisible) tears that will make us want to double the dosage of laughters right after. Indeed, shared joy is doubled joy. Shared sorrow is half-sorrow.

5. For not just mere sharing dreams, plans and pursuits but also helping me achieve them.

6. For the therapeutic discussions no amount of Spa/Stressball/Stresstabs (haha) can compensate.

7. For the countless art of doing nothing days that will make preschooler kids look more matured than us.

8. For teaching me humility and pride at the same time.

9. For being my constant sounding boards! (Ang hirap kaya maging sounding board ni Emcee)

10. For giving me 101 reasons to go back there even if I only have 1 painful reason not to.

11.  For not merely knowing me but understanding me although I can be a very difficult to understand at time to the point of being a pain in the neck.

12. For being the 2 people I know I’d meet in heaven (Mitch Albom’s concept)

 

I can go on and on but I don’t want to be too much of a Drama Queen.

Mica, I can’t thank you enough. Thanks for being there ALL these years. I know we can make things happen (and I’ve already consulted the Magic8Ball and it confirmed). Good to know we’ve grown up/old together and we will continue to. I’m pretty sure we can finish the 30 Things ‘MC and Mica will do together’ sooner that we expect and before we know it there will be 30 more. Well in fact, we’ve only realized the Choose Your Own Adventure Day after the M8B purchase. haha! I’m super excited! May our Dreamboards come to life! Altiora Peto. Brah, thanks thanks for always sticking around. Good to know we’ve grown young together. Ego boost! You know I’ll do what I can for the Kalabaw Code to materialize. Extra thanks for not just stopping at understanding but also analyzing me (although you can leave the explaining to me). Live relaxed!

argggh!

January 21, 2010

Yesterday, I could not believe how one call could change my 2010 Outlook. As I checked my mails when I arrived in the office, no less than 20 mails apart, I got approvals for my 5-day leave for compre review which I filed the previous week, and an email from one of the staffs of our college saying I should call her ASAP. Ironic! I was dumbfounded and speechless for a while when she said I couldn’t take the compre because a new direction from the Program Director. Actually I didn’t know it was a new direction. Last year, all along, I thought I really couldn’t take the exam until they told me I could as long as I complete the core subjects, which I did, before the exam season. So I thought, all these perfectly fitted my plan. September 2010 and I’m done! All my hopes are there, then, after I’ve anticipated what could have been on Feb 27 and the weekends after, after I’ve come to terms with my MIA policy, after I’ve started studying, after my no alcohol policy until the big days, after all those anxiety and anticipation and everything in between (seriously, this has been my default thought lately), the rule that I should be completing all my subjects this term the latest come into the picture. Are you kidding me?! It’s my number 1 to-do list in my 2010 plan for crying out loud. I still had, small but it was there, hopes that I could talk to the director today but I read this morning a memo about it. So, this after all is a non-negotiable rule. I had to skip my first class but was out of the office early enough to attend the second one. Before, I would have declared a no-UP-day already because it was too much of a hassle to travel back-and-forth for two hours for a 1.5 hr class but I decided to go to school anyway since I have nothing planned for the rest of the day. I still have that tiny but detectable amount of hope that maybe, just maybe, they can postpone the implementation of the direction since it makes sense to apply it to the next batches since the rules that should be applied to our batch are the rules that were established when we first came on-board with the program. But of course that won’t be the case. So it’s final. Compre time for me is 2011!

 

JL said, life is what happens while you’re busy making plans. I couldn’t help but ponder and muse when I came across this line from Jim Paredes’ column I read yesterday: We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have a life waiting for us. How cosmic! Have I planned too much? Have I let my life revolve around the 2010 Iskidrow Plan lately? Was I wrong to anticipate? My friends tell me to let go and just believe that God has better plans. Honestly, I trust and hope that there is. That someday I can connect the dots and understand but right now, all I want to do is pause and wallow in depression and self-pity. I cannot help it. I look back at the terms I have gone underload. I cannot help but hate myself. Entirely my fault!

 

Now I have so much time in my hands but there is no other thing I want to do but to be busy with compre review. I was not even concerned about office deliverables when in fact this week is the busiest we have anticipated for this quarter. I wished I was never told I could take the compre! I wish I could get off my mind from compre tomorrow: ANYTHING BUT COMPRE! Argggh!

 

In the expressionless look I had going to school, I was thoughtless -as in blank stare into nothingness. For the first time after a long time I was just observing people. How young the students are. How pseudo-childish-couples act. How tired people are after a day’s work. How two reunited friends seem to not run out of stories. I wonder how they have perceived me. I wonder how frustrated-compre-examinees look like! Arggh!

takt time

January 5, 2010

What a nice buena mano business day… 16 how-did-I-do-it-hours at work on my first day. When life offers you a table full of your favorite food, watch out because somewhere out there is a platter of cosmic playback waiting to be savored. Emerson, ito ba ang kapalit ng mahabang bakasyon? But I guess this is good because 1) I have a potato theory that I work best under pressure and when I work best at work, it is always directly proportional to my academe life. Why potato? Because it is my comfort food although others kinda hate it due to carbo overload; 2) It gets me off some things - diversion kumbaga! 3) Time flies when you are busy. Before everone knows it, September na! Wake me up when September ends but I hope I’ll be sleepwalking as early as July; 4) Pressures humble me because all the more I tend to pray harder (naks! may ganong factor? Seriously!). 5) Mabilis mawawala ang cheekfats ko!

Early today, we had a lecture on Value Stream Mapping. Shame on me for being a Productivity Lead I didn’t know what takt time is. What it’s etymological meaning at least.  It’s actually a German word for heartbeat. Interesting right? So they use it to pulse what the customer wants. Hmmm.. Emcee likes that! So what does my heartbeat tell me now? Will somebody please pulse me? (Emcee’s thought bubble showing: she needs company this hour because there’s just so many things she needs to pour out pero tulog na ang roommates nya, hindi man lang siya makasama sa lunch break sa officemates nya,  sawa na siya sa FB apps, walang ibang bukambibig ang partner nya kundi business so di sya makasingit ng mellow chikahan, masyadong masaya ang yosi buddy nya para magpaka-emo sya, so magba-blog na lang siya!). I love you blog! Journal writing the old fashion way is just so.. well, old fashion. I can’t think well with a pen nowadays (Realization 1 of the year: the reason I’m not doing well in school is because only few teachers allow us to use our laptops during exams. I work best in front of a computer pa naman.)

Bee-tee-dub, I haven’t taken any alchy this year! I know it’s too soon to tell. Jan 4/5 pa lang and every single person I’ve shared this ‘revolution’ with laughs. But hey, I’ve said no to alchy on two parties this year! I’m just happy for that.

Bee-tee-dub two: Arce and I have a wait for it… WOW idea for our next team building. We plan to go to casino (oh my) one of these days but when he learned I have a poker set, he wants to have a poker night with the OMG instead. I suggested a Strip Poker but we will have someone else strip for us when we lose. Ending: AVATAR strip poker: When Avatar goes to Las Vegas Party Po-po-po-poker night! I see you! Wow right?

Bee-tee-dub three: I love Fr. Noni. Oh my, I’m not sure if this is his name. I love him yet I don’t know his name. haha.. His homily is just food for the soul. Same goes for Fr. Orbos.

Realization 2: I can’t believe I’m discussing work, alcohol, gambling and favorite priests in one blog. 2010! Anong ginawa mo kay Emcee?

*Ang mga nabanggit na salaysay ay epekto lamang ng kakulangan sa tulog at sobrang kape.

wake me up when sept ends

January 2, 2010

In a few hours’ time, after my sleep I’ll be heading to Manila again. After 3 whole seasons of Lost, most-updated episodes of How I Met Your Mother, few episodes of Soulmates (oh yeah, I also tries Korean DVD! Something Tin lent me for the holidays), bags and bags of potato chips, megacalorie overload of lechon, pasta, fruits, chocolates, Green Christmas Party, Ube New Year Party, Laguna Swimming Party, I’ll be back to that thing that always happens… life. So much for a retreat before a year of smorgasbord of dreams,  decisions, realizations and anything in between. This is not simply ‘just another’ year for that because this time, this is going to be different. A lot different. I’m not being clairvoyant (hehehe.. although that would be interesting) but I just know that certainly this year will progress with a BANG!

I’ll try to blog as often as I can because I’ll try to make this site my retreat  (or my GOLDEN journal can come handy this time). I know I may like it better when I hear myself out and go into a discourse with my sounding boards but I think this should be a good change!

So wake me when September ends. By that time, hopefully, I’ve already finished MBA, served my bond, on my 5th year in the company and serving my 30-day notice. Who knows, I may also be packing my things up, about to travel somewhere  all suit up with 2 tickets for me and my guy. So much for wishful thinking!

2009 what happened to you?

December 31, 2009

Year-end survey! Another moment to look back on the things… mischiefs, decisions, moments, regrets (?)..

What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before? Hmmm. I have done parasailing before but parasailing in Bali is different, so that’s one. Swimming with gentle giants. Watch dolphins in open water. CASINO beybeh!

Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I don’t normally make a new year’s resolution but I’m making one for 2010: IWASAN HANGGANG KAYANG IWASAN ANG MGA BAGAY NA PWEDENG MA-ADDIK KA! (This applies to many things not just the casino)

Did anyone close to you give birth? Iris and Patty 

Did anyone close to you die? Nah.

What countries did you visit?
Singapore and Indonesia.

What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
Savings account, family time, ME time  and lovelife with less complications… haha

What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
As usual trips are always etched. This year I went back to my favorite vacay spot in the country: Bohol with my best friends Dino, Son, Paul and Mars. Best sisses Corleie and Ghia joined me in conquering Bicolandia: Legazpi and Donsol (with Adan), Caramoan islands and side trip at CWC. I went to Iloilo and Boracay with Harry, Mak, Jo-ann, Zel, Marilyn and Martha. In August, I went to Bali with Partner and Bestem. Met Cesar in Singapore as well. Of course, the spontaneous hot and cold trip to La Union and Baguio with Dino, Tristan and Bogchi. Nothing significant (that I remember) really happened except for trips, random meet-ups, out-of-the-blue realizations.

What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Hmm. I guess getting the Leadership Award though I intended not to attend the event.

What was your biggest failure?
MBA 2nd term. I’m such a pasaway student.

Did you suffer illness or injury?
Being an accident prone, there are many although nothing serious naman.

What was the best thing you bought?
iPhone (deeweey) and netbook (addie)

Whose behavior merited celebration?
Madami: Lovely for her job, Clyde for his business, Mak for his new house, Son for her new car

Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Mine. Always mine. realizations kasi!

Where did most of your money go?
Same question I’m asking myself. Although at least I have purchased an expense tracker application. I’m not sure if it’s helping though.

What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Trips (as always) and the fact that time flies. yez! 2010 na!

What song(s) will always remind you of 2009?
Top of mind, not particular songs that got released this year: I’ll Do Anything.

Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? —happier
ii. thinner or fatter? –fatter cheeks
iii. richer or poorer? –poorer.. way way poorer.

What do you wish you’d done more?
Live healthier. Save more. Take more risks.

What do you wish you’d done less of?
Impulsive shopping.

How many one-night stands?
Wala.

What was your favorite TV program?
Hardly watch the TV. More onTV series I will no longer enumerate.

Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
no one really. Hate is such a strong thing.

What was the best book you read?
Eat, Pray, Love.

What was your greatest musical discovery?
(500) Days of Summer OST and I am Sasha Fierce Album

What did you want and get?
iPhone, netbook, travels.

What was your favorite film of this year?
3 in no particular order: UP, Slumdog Millionaire, He’s not just that into you

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
spontaneous trip and family time - 26 

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Brighter than sunshine moments with family and friends. Nothing particular comes to mind.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
Define Business Clothes everyday although I remember attempting to have the sporty look.

What kept you sane?
Friends & Coffe. Not alchy this time.

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Barney Stinson! and..Natuwa ako kay Gibo during Ondoy days. not much lately.

What political issue stirred you the most?
Maguindanao massacre. That was just eviiil!.

Who did you miss?
Beng, Cesar & Rey.Tin & Gabe. Joyce & Steve. Jo-Ann, Germs, Mik, Jansen. Clyde.

Who was the best new person you met?
More on known better: Dino.

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009:
Lessons on decision making: the next best thing can be the wrong thing so choose the best thing. always the best thing.

What was the nicest thing someone told you about yourself:
Siguro compliments from my boss during the awards night.

The most touching experience you’ve had this year?
Tin’s surprise for my birthday : ) & and outreach program for Ondoy victims

What did you like most about yourself this year?
I choose happiness.

What did you hate most about yourself this year?
My poor decision making skills

Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
I’ll do anything spontaneously. 

Was 2009 a good year for you?
if 2008 is all about getting there, 2009 is all about pursuits of getting there (further there) and I think it will not stop in 2010. 2009 is all about prepping up for big changes that are yet to come. It has been a better well-seized year though and I owe it to many. Thanks for making me a better Emcee this 2009!

What was your favorite moment of the year?
No particular moment comes to mind. I didn’t have “the moment” this year. Maybe, riding the waves moment. 

What was your least favorite moment of the year?
Christmas Day. : ( there’s a particular incident (probably this one stuck in my mind kasi recent past though there may be other less favorable than this.)

Where were you when 2009 began?
House

Who were you with?
with my family

Where will you be when 2009 ends?
House

Who will you be with when 2009 ends?
My family of course

Do you have a new years resolution for 2010?
Decide well. And when you’ve decided, stick to the plan and keep walking!

What was your favorite month of 2009?
Indifferent ako. Andami mashadong pagpipilian.

Did you lose anybody close to you in 2009?
Nope

Did you miss anybody in the past year?
Madami. Same as above.

How many concerts did you see in 2009?
Eheads lang with Mica and Ghia (where Ghia collapsed..hahaha)

Did you drink a lot of alchohol in 2009?
A lot is an understatement : ) although i know that those are going to be one of the lasts sessions

Do a lot of drugs in 2009?
Nope to dope. haha

You do anything you are ashamed of this year?
Hmmm.. sort of!

How much money did you spend in 2009?
I don’t wanna know this time.

What was your proudest moment of 2009?
Wala ako maisip.Manalo sa casino.. haha.. Maka-1 sa MIT

What was your most embarrassing moment of 2009?
Jay-j’s with officemates

If you could go back in time to any moment of 2009 and change something, what would it be?
Jay-j’s with officemates. Di dapat nainggit sa kaibigang nag-inom.Nagkape na lang dapat.

What are your plans for 2010?
40 fortes for me: The Iskidrow Plan - gotta execute this well : ) and seize every moment of it

How are you different now that the year has ended?
I’ve grown up but haven’t grown old. This year I think, I’ve eaten, prayed and loved more. 

What are your wishes for the new year?
That I may have more lessons learned on eating, praying and loving. That decisions be made according to God’s will. That happiness may not be as elusive  as it can get. That the chase for the real thing will stop not because I have gone tired of the chase but because I have caught it. That blessing be continuously counted. That the universe may conspire for the ISKIDROW plan to be well executed. That moments continue to be seized.