decisions

November 22, 2009

From an FB post: In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing. Eureka! That explains why I end up in &%@#$ situations. I always choose the next best thing or nothing because doing the right thing seems to be either overrated, too painful, or most often, too easy to be the answer for someone like me who always complicates things. 

From a text message which I edited to suit the theme: When you have found the reason to do the right thing, never look back. Just keep on walking, even in your destination is unclear. It will take a lot of courage for every step you make, but it will save some pride and honor for yourself. It’s better to get lost moving on, than being stranded and broken after all.

From Johnny: Keep walking, Emcee.

about me… lucky me…

November 21, 2009

I haven’t updated my about me area yet. I’m still twenty5. hehe… Let’s keep it that way. Well, actually, since all these networking phenomenon started, I had the hardest time describing myself. I’m not really a TMI person and this blog is the farthest that I can share and not even all my closest friends read this. I can be TMI when I share stories with my friends but these are my closest friends who know me inside-out I don’t even have to share at times just to get my message across. For new-time acquaintances, I don’t know how to describe myself. I haven’t asked my friends though how they would describe me if they were asked to describe me. I’m sure all they are gonna say is that I am crazy, talkative, tall lady who always acts like one of the boys. Hmmm… Is that all that I am? Perhaps.

My friend had an interview last week and when she was asked to describe herself, she just talked about her current job. What would I do if it were me? I haven’t been in interviews for a long time. What would I have answered. For me, everytime I interview, the first thing I always ask pa naman is tell something that is not written in the resume.

So, this is my humble attempt to describe myself:

Better lucky that good. Heard that from our big boss. Well, if that is always the case, good for me for always being lucky!

Day 1 on earth I was such a pain in the ass (literally)! My mom gave birth to me through C-section after the pains of normal labor delivery. Few minutes late would have changed the whole story of my life. 

First child, first grandchild, first greatgrandchild but growing up with my pseudo-twin brother Clyde and the younger brothers of my mom staying in our house before, I never really felt the first-born kid. But I think being the ‘only girl’ they so-called darling got into me so there was always the ‘what Emcee wants Emcee gets’ policy home. Luckily though I did not grow up as a brat. Up until now, I am quite close with these ‘kuyas’ I grew up with (although the youngest of them is 8 years older than me). I chitchat with them, man-laugh with them, drink with them, as if we are peers. With one, once we were both a little drunk (me not just little.. hehe), we left and he let me drive around his new car just so he can share some domestic issues he wanted me to have an opinion on. I’m just so lucky with the man in our family and I haven’t even started sharing about my lolo.

I’m lucky I am my mom’s soulmate. We both feel so. Though moms will always be moms in the sense that you can never really share everything you share with your friends bu I think I cannot ask for more with what I have with my mom. 

I was lucky in my elementary days because although I was a naughty pupil, my parents were very active in school so that kinda offset the equation. hehe

I was lucky in HS I love Math and English so even though I hate those subjects where you need to bring big books and memorize freaking stages of growth of species X and Y and histories of Countries O M G, I made it through. Even though I always had the lowest grade in Values Ed in class being the sutil one in a section of achievers, I was the lucky because I was the least grade-conscious, had the most friends in other sections (which are far more cooler)ang high school was just so much a fun lane for me. Even now, I am still close with my high school best friends. Lucky me!

Lucky me I got into UP with the course I wanted. My second choice was Philosophy. Where would I have been if I took that course? Sobrang mas pilosopo kaya ako? I was so lucky in college I think the universe conspired that I be in the right classes, with the right professors, with the right classmates. Of course there were the phenomenal NaSc2 and Span 1 but I prefer to put it as part of the luck formula. I was so lucky I think I had the housemates mode era, blocmates mode era, the EconSoc mode era, the YFC mode era, the DLS mode era, the Student Council mode era, the non-affiliated mode era. Well, looking back, I never really felt like a student until I was in senior years when I started to be addicted to yopi to study for Ma’am Zumalde’s class and prepare for thesis. Damn I was so lucky! No wonder one of my brods was suprised to find out then that I was graduating on-time since he saw me most of the time in the frathouse than the original residents (exajjj!).

I was so lucky I got my first job at San Miguel. I think I prayed for that. I left because I wanted a research-line job and luckily (something which I prayed for again) I got an RA stint for UNDP-funded project which I again left after 2 months. I was so lucky every time I asked for something, I got it but throw it away after. So I stopped asking for something. But luck was on my side because there was Cesar who introduced me to Sykes-Emerson world. I was so lucky even though I didn’t like it much at the start, the world conspired again and lead me to where I am now, pretty much liking my job.

Lucky me I can name at least 10 best friends and I might have a hard time doing choosing just 10!

So I think I haven’t pretty said much about myself other than being lucky. hehe.. What else should I say? I am still in sharing about me mode. (Oh my gawd! It struck me that I’m such a narcisist. The world revolves around me! Yuck! This is my blog. I’d do what I want to do.)

I’m a walking contradiction:

• I am either the very best friend or the worst enemy you can have.
• I can give the sweetest compliments and the most epal hirits right in the same sentence.. hehe
• I am in the business of project management and planning yet spontaneity is one of my  guiding values.
• I can be your most trusted associate at work exceeding expectations of the most or lie-low-policy-in-friday-mode employee for 2 months
• I cuss like a guy but I cannot bring myself to utter cursing words in front of kids and my family.
• For my height, I’m such a lampayatot.
• I’m always tagged as chikadora but my closest friends come to me to share their secrets.
• For someone who acts as if a megaphone is attached to her mouth, my voice volume changes evrytime I sing with a microphone.
• I sleep longer when I drink coffee than when I drink alcohol. 
• Someone told me, for someone who has a social life like mine (dati lang to) it’s a surprise that I am (was) a bookworm.
• I laugh like a hyena and though I hardly cry, when I do, I cry like a … I can’t think of an adjective.. so I cry like a crying hyena. haha
• For someone so mean like me, I am just so lucky! : )

 

haaay

November 18, 2009

Universe, are you teaching me another lesson on how to keep my stupid mouth shut?

I’m so frustratedly mad (because of my stupid mouth that got me in trouble) and I can’t even share it with anyone (because it proves the point that my mouth is really stupid). Well I tried too start sharing with no intent of sharing everything but again, Universe, I think it was a sign that the person I was about to share it with was busy. I shared it with someone (slightly) whom I think is so used with the stupidity of my mouth anyway. 

Kainis! Di ko ma-share. Not in Facebook (because I don’t want to be TMI and ambabaw nya) and not even in my freakin blog! 

Everyone is entitled to your feelings and thoughts and yet when you say things are unfair, people around you feel you are unfair for even blahbing out the unfairness of the world. So unfair!

end of the world

November 15, 2009

Just watched 2012 but this post is not about the movie. Well, freaky as it may sound, but I suddenly felt the idea of entertaining end-of-the-world thoughts. Must be brought about by the homily, then the movie, then the idea that what if really, the world is ending soon, what is the point of finishing my StartMan case which I have postponed reading for the nth time during the weekend. Should I go to work tomorrow? Should I bother attending my classes? Should I pay my piling bills? Should I just go surfing all day? Hehehe.. (see, my post is not that creepy at all)

What would you do if you found out that in 10 days, everything is over? Is it the same feeling as knowing you are gonna day but this time, everyone is also having the same fate as yours? Is it better not knowing and just live everyday as if it is your last or wouldn’t it be better to know when the precise time is? Knowledge is power! What yould you do just to know?

If I seriously think this, I will end up really scared because my family is in Batangas. If doomsday is similar to what movies show, will I have the energy to walk through SLEX? Will my family meet me half-way? Funny as I put it but seriosly, it’s scary, isn’t it?

I guess in the end, it all boils down to the essentials: faith, hope and love.

Faith - that everything is happening for a reason. Faith that our God is not a judgmental God but a forgiving God. Faith! No reason necessary.

Hope - that no matter what all scientific findings, no amount of pressure will make you give up to survive. Hope that someday, perhaps in another realm, things are going to make sense. Hope! All reasons acceptable.

Love - and they say the greatest of all is love. Love that makes Faith and Hope fighting and working. Love! The reason itself.

So faith, hope and love, and the greatest of all is love.

character building

November 13, 2009

If you have to do something you don’t want, consider it as character building. Well, I’m feeling I’m having too much character building. I’m super bored lately. I don’t know if this was brought by my most recent trip. It was so much fun and now I simply see how boring life is without those trips. I don’t know if I’m just too excited for the next trip that nothing else now is worth that energy level. I don’t know if it is brought by the November-December rush. Sometimes I hate how I always course to retail therapy to have that momentary bliss.

I really need to take the ISIDRO Plan seriously… planning it seriously, I mean. Perhaps I need a different kind of retreat!