blindness and amnesia

I finished reading Blindness by Saramago yesterday. I was so great, probably my best-read book for this year. The twist of the story is so great and the emotions are so vibrant and real. I think this is the start of my friendship with Jose Saramago. It’s just so difficult to find his books. (Last year I put his writings in my Christmas wishlist in the office, poor monito!)

One book I also love is 100 years of Solitude. There was a story there about a community suddenly having amnesia. And for them to remember names of things around them, they label it. Eventually though the letters in the labels no longer make sense because of the amnesia attack.

Anyway, what am I trying to drive at here. Oh well, I was just reminded of a freaky question. Someone asked me what would be the most dreadful sickness I can have. I said it’s amnesia or blindness. I can take lung cancer, liver cancer, breast cancer because I have high potential of getting them anyway but Amnesia/Alzheimer’s and/or blindness would want me to die right away the moment I learn that I have it. That is such a strong statement but I am not taking it back.

I am so used to independence and blindness will make me depend too much on others. I know blindness does not make me an invalid but there are just to many things that I depend on my sight to get done. Also, I love books and I see myself growing old reading and writing. What now after blindness. Braille reading is, I think, difficult to learn. Audio-book is not so much fun.

I have no claim to the worldly richness but I have the riches memories with the family and friends. Sometimes, when I am reminiscing the past alone to kill time, I simply can’t help but smile or laugh to the surprise of people around me. Precious moments are one thing, remembering those precious moments is another and is a great wonder of human nature. I can’t imagine growing old without these memories. I see myself telling my grandkids (yeah, I’m gonna have those - parang bibilhin lang e) of how gaga their lola can get. Imagine life without those memories. Emcee? Emcee who?

What if someone I love got struck with these two diseases? Oh well, I would have done what the eye doctor’s wife did in the book. I would have done what any person who loves would do. I would have wished it was just me struck by the ailment. But until I haven’t found someone whom I’m willing to stay with despite my Amnesia/Blindness, I will stick to my earlier statement.

I hope those who read this can read the book and can find someone who’s willing to stick around with them like the doctor’s wife in the book.