labyrinth

So many things to do, so little time. So many things to say but part of me is thinking of how my friends would react when they read this. Do I write or do I not? Part of misses the days when I can blog with all my heart’s content and not consider even in a moment’s notice who would read. After all, it’s just an outlet of my emotions. An external memory board of my day-to-day happenings.

*** 

Just my luck. I’m no Lindsay Lohan fun but honestly I feel that I am a very lucky person. Not just blessed but lucky. All of us are blessed in our own rights but I really feel lucky. Bonus-lucky I mean. Remember when I wrote ‘Connecting the Dots’ and on how I realized how one bad luck brought me to greater heights. Then I wrote how I wanted to be in an extremely busy state again, a weird thing to ask for I know. Then luck struck again. I got promoted. A position where I am outright unexperienced. Sometimes I feel that I got the position because of my charms and my strong convincing skills (convincing them that I am highly capable of the position). I was in Cloud 9 when they told me that I was the one they chose. I was competing with the seniors in the office, one of which is my direct superior. Plus I feel that they really have all the reasons not to choose me because ‘Image counts’. I don’t want this to be a yeah-i-got-promoted-arrogant-type-of-post. It’s just that, I am overwhelmed of the trust the gods of our company has given me. Really! If you knew my track record here, you’ll be surprised on the direction of things.

*** 

Lately, I am always with the wakeboarders. We always have surprised meet-ups. We exchange emails and text messages on a regular basis. It’s them that I consult to whenever something is bothering me because if there’s enyone who know more of me lately, it’s them. Honestly I see them more often than the BJs or even my housemates. Haha.. I’m not complaining though. I am really happy. Here’s the thing. I sometimes feel that we are making our group exclusive. There are a couple of times when by chance upon a sis and voila… dead air. Not dead air-dead air but you can feel that we are not our usual selves. We have grown accustomed to some personal jokes that even though there is no intention to make other people out-of-place we are capable of effortlessly doing it. We all come from different academic ang Econsoc batches. I can’t pinpoint a specific commonality except that all of us girls had been Externals heads or perhaps all of us are officers of Econsoc at one time. Perhaps we simply enjoy each others company. Love you guys!

*** 

Bungee-jumpers, i miss you all. Wala lang! : )

***

Art of doing nothing. The last two trips I had were art-of-doing-nothing weekends. It’s doing things you can do at home but you want it to do it somewhere else. Ok, there was swimming but it’s the only add-on activity we had. I don’t know if its practical to spend more money and do the same thing in another place but honestly, I’m really enjoying it. On my next trip though, I wanna do something new.

***

Negotiables and non-negotiables. Do you have a non-negotiable list? Well, one time, it was one of our topics. Honestly I can’t find anything non-negotiable about a guy except his height. Though I say I don’t want to fall for a brod because the pessimisitc side of me thinks that falling out of a relationship with a brod can cause dispute to the org, I don’t think I am still in the position where my affiliation defines my personality. In college, perhaps yes, but right, I think not anymore. Religion, uhm, I can’t tell. As long as he has faith, anything goes. As long as he isn’t an atheist. Family. Uhmm, I don’t thinks so. I think I always have an easy time realting with the oldies and other family members. IQ. Perhaps! haha.. I don’t buy the "Basta mabait" prospect in a guy. Heller! Mabait is relative and all people have a trait that can make us say that he is mabait. Plus, a mabait father may not have a mabait child if the upbringing is different but IQ can be genetically passed from one generation to another. Haha. Masama ba? So boils down to my sure-ball non-negotible consideration in a guy: height. For aesthetic purposes. Ang pangit kaya ng mas maliit yung guy kesa girl. Just my opinion. Look at Jules and Assunta. Sila talaga ang example ko! hahaha. And, everything else I am willing to compromise but for height, of course I can’t just cut my legs off. hehe

***

Separation anxiety. I don’t if it’s because I’m missing my family so much. I haven’t gone to Batangas for a long time because it’s summer but when I went there last weekend, I was surprised that my youngest brother is ‘nagbibinata’ na. His voice is changing and he has grown tall so fast. I can’t believe it. Though he is a late-bloomer because another cousin who is months younger than him has undergone adolescence way ahead I still can’t bring myself to the idea that our little boy is nearly a grown-man. I still call him ‘love’ though. Another thing, I was the one who sent Angela to Summer School before I went to Manila. I couldn’t bring myself to leave her there all alone by herself. I felt that she’s too young to be study at all. She’s so small and young and fragile. Ahhh! And this isn’t my kid I’m talking about. Perhaps all the things I don’t like in kids has accumulated and turned into my uber-likeness and love for Angela. Every little thing she does is magic.

***

Summer flings. I want to be inspired. I don’t know if summer fling is the answer but.. I want! I want! Not exactly a summer fling. Just someone to inspire me. I keep getting hirits about me not having a boyfriend. Haller?! Nabibili ba yon? Nakakaoffend din ang mga guys na nagtatanong bakit wala kang boyfriend. Girlfriendin mo kaya ako. haha..

***

Blogs. I don’t think if people I don’t know would find my site interesting. Lately, the underground gossip in the office is all about my officemate’s blog. It’s exciting to read hers but there’s just too much information. I want my blog to be irresistible to read but I don’t feel comfortable sharing things I’d only share with my friends. Just a thought.

***

This is what all my suspended emotional entanglements have brought me. Incoherent entries. hahaha..