witch of bohol

Perhaps it's because it's November that I have become sensitive and over-analytic of things around me. My emotions are always in maximum level. Either I'm hyper-active laughing like a hyena or in my manic-depressive soulsearching mode. Sometimes I feel so in love and loved and yet self-pitying in another moment. But the better end is still on me because at the end of the day, however unbearable the lightness of my being feels like, still, Life is beautiful!

Life's greatest blessing is the gift of friendship! I am so lucky to have cool friends who share the same spirit I have in life. When I say friendship, it is not limited to the friendship I have with my college friends, classmates or office peers alone. I also mean friendship with my family. But today, I talk about my best college friends. We always plan out-of-toen trips during summers and Novembers (either Undas or Thanksgiving).

This year, we're lucky to avail the CebPac piso trips! So off to Cebu and Bohol. Initially, I hesitated of joining because I felt crappy and I might end up being a KJ  party pooper, a super no-no to the BJs. But then I can never say no to my dearest friends. And no one can be too strong to say no to a long weekend getaway on a new place. So BJ tripping it is and at the same time I kept my 'Witch of Portobello' handy so I can have some contemplation moments. I just love contemplating whenever I visit new places. New places kind of welcome high spirits and wider horizons.

I fell in love with Bohol. The place was so great we never ran out of things to do be it land tour or sea tour. For gimik nights we only got a few drinks. Believe me, whatever we had was a far cry from our siraan-ng-buhay-parang-wala-nang-bukas inuman.

Perhaps tumatanda na talaga tayo! haha… Perhaps our cakes, the places we went to and the activities we had, were more than enough that we need not add our whip cream. Perhaps, Bohol, known as a nature-trip destination and not really as a night-life area was the destined place for our spirits. Perhaps it's the timing that most of us have our personal issues we are trying to conquer (at least not with the help of alcohol this time). Perhaps it's in the laid-back ambiance that we feel like having those conversations we used to have. Perhaps, it's because it's not really the partying and the drinking that we miss but simply the comfort of each other's company. Perhaps, it's the idea that it might take a while before this happens again so we better not get too wasted to remember the moments. Perhaps, masyado na talaga akong madrama sa dami ng nasabi ko.

Also, during that trip, I fell in love with Cesar. Not to Cesar per se but the qualities he has. It's kinda difficult to explain but I've always said the Cesar is my Everything-but-the-tall-guy buddy. He is the epitome of the guy I want only that he is too short for me and he doesn't have the X factor I am looking for in a guy. He is one of the few people who knows me "knows me". Cesar, thanks for the "talks". I would never trade those conversations with any amount of alcohol we missed. haha! Di nga? Baka magka-Cesar Syndrome pa ako. Anyway, ayoko naman ng ganitong LQ kung sakali. hehe

Anyway, here's my realization. I am a witch of Bohol. Funny! So why witch of Bohol? Well, honestly, I'm not yet done reading the book but so far, so good. May not be Coelho's finest but for me, the book is only as good as the reader. There are some parts that I can relate to and for me that is my definition of good book. Anyway, the book is a biography that is told in the eyes of different people. Perhaps, that is how my biography would look like. A completely different story from different people.  Always different depending upon who the storyteller is. In our trip perhaps, each of Beng, Mica, Corleai and Cesar would have shared a different story of how I was during the trip. Perhaps perhaps.

To Rey, Adan and Gabe, wish you were there with us!

November has been a rollercoaster month. Thanks to everyone! Namaste!

one more chance

Just watched 'One More Chance" with my roommates/sisses and we all loooove the movie! Here are the best parts for me:

*Hospital scene - When Janus was telling how painful it was that he was feeling and that nobody but Popoy would understand him, you would not think that he was indeed the barkada clown. Tagos ang line ni Popoy especially that in the room were his ex and current gf about someone better might come along!

*Basha with her mom - Reminds me of my mom. The line where she told her mom how hurtful she felt. I'm not sure but I think there was a line where she thought she thought she was prepared for it but the feeling was still painful. You'll never know when you'll be ready to overcome such pain.

*The part when Popoy was trying to erase the stay marks of their dreamhouse  left of on his wall. You can't simply throw away and forget relationships like that.

*Parting line of Maja. There is simply no easy way out of a relationship.

*Nanghihinayang Song part. Funny to! haha. Di kasi nagtatanong e!

*Barkada nights! I really like the Thursday night get-together. And that in reality when two people in a relationship are part of a single circle of friends, when they break up, the group is inevitably affected. Nevertheless, I like how friends like them handle their issues. Nakakatawa yung nagtatawagan sila when the two had a fight. Funny rin yung Love is blind na gift sa anniversary ng pagkabulag.

*UST scene - This could have been a good closing but defeats the title 'One More Chance'.

The lines were well written at higit sa lahat i luuurve John Lloyd talaga! I would have loved the UST scene as the ending but you won't be after the ending. It's the not destination, it's the journey! Personally, I don't know if I am an advocate of second chances in relationships but I guess, at the end of the day, all we want is one more chance and answer our what-could-have-beens.

wake

Tin, Dino and I have planned for a birthday party with an extraordinary theme: a wake. The initial proposal was a sugalan party since we enjoyed in-between but it was too plain a theme and a casino-themed party was already done. Since I've always wanted a black-and-white party, I suggested that it could be a good extra. And since we were wakeboarding when the idea first popped our minds, we thought a WAKE theme would simply be apt. So for almost two months we planned and anticipated the event.

Actually, I was very excited with the theme. What better time to hear what people are going to say when you die? Nobody can be too certain if your spirit will be there when people go to your actual wake.

The outcome: black and white * sugalan * assorted biscuits * kape (with some alcoholic drinks) * eulogy * candle-lit function hall * morning (sounds like mourning but we did not do that. nagpa-morning na lang kami…hehe)

Mas makulay ang buhay sa kabilang buhay! I owe this to Tin and Dino. It's not everyday that you find friends who can go crazy-mad (pun intended) with you and come up with hilarious ideas for a birthday. Thanks to those who came mindless of the possible bad fengshui luck others who didn't come critically claim. hehe.. nagparinig daw!

***

What did I hear for eulogy? Actually, I was excited about the eulogy part but since the celebration-of-life service was for the three of us, I would easily look pale in comparison with the characters of my two peers. Of course I knew that the mouring for the dead theme kuno would not convert my friends to the ways they see me as an  happy-go-lucky chatterbox. I guess that's just the way it is. The legacy that I would leave is as a joker and a walking epitome that  laughter makes the world go round. Sadly though, it might be ONLY my hilarious antics that they would remember. Part of me felt that perhaps only a few really know me. Honestly that time I was hoping for something that would lift my spirit. (Flashback: Last week, I guess I have cried 10 times more than I cried for the rest of the year and that would just be a conservative estimate!) Anyway, I liked best what Maui told. Well, perhaps as my roommate she would know me really well. Or perhaps, I should be changing the image I exude.

*** 

When there are wakes there are deaths. I wonder why they call it wake. What if the dead woke up? Would the people like that?! Kidding aside, fear of death is a universal thing. I know I would never be ready for that though there are time I literally blurt out 'Lord, take me!"  I believe what people fear most about it is leaving your loved ones mourning and leaving without a legacy. Moreso, leaving unnoticed. But in fact, the concept of dying makes us realize the importance of living. They are just phases.

I always say that life is short (make it shorter… hehe). John Maynard Keynes said it best, "in the long run, we're all dead.

***

Speaking of wake, it's high time I have my wake-up call! Have to cut the whole minamalas drama kasi parang mas nakakaattract ako ng nega vibes.

single?

I received an e-mail entitled 'The Gift of Being Single'. Honestly I thought it was another message of how thankful someone is of being single but actually when you read between the lines, the author is really crying for a relationship and the whole i-don't-need-a-boyfriend drama is just a defense mechanism. Come on! Who wouldn't want a to be loved by someone you love? But while reading it, I found some passages true enough.

"TOO often people want what they want, or think they want at the moment, which is usually "happiness" right now. The irony of their impatience is that only by learning to wait, and by willingness to accept the bad with the good do we usually attain those things that are truly worthwhile. I have a blessing which is sometimes seen as a curse. I am blessed with the gift of being single…

…For most of us twentysomething young professionals, it seems the world has already come up with its own set of expectations on how we should live life. The world expects us to finish school in our early twenties, get a job, find the love of our lives by the time we reach our mid-twenties, marry and have kids. But the thing is, not everyone sees their dreams come true in the same way. In this article, I shall try to endeavor to change the way the world looks at being single…

…The art of contentment means you wouldn't mind if life had to make you wait for so long to find the love of your life, because you know that the waiting would only make the finding much sweeter…

…Sometimes the dilemmas we face are not between what is absolutely bad and absolutely good. Sometimes, it's between good and best. Treat this stage of your life as a phase to evaluate who is good for you and who is best for you. Sometimes, you won't hear music, or feel magic to know who's best for you. The heart just knows and it doesn't need any romantically charged scenario to decide on the matter. Trust in your heart, and trust that time will eventually lead you to, not to the perfect partner, but to the most suitable partner for you. Being single is a phase of life that we need to be thankful for, because being single means our hearts have yet to choose the best one for us…

… Sometimes, when you spend too much time trying to find a boyfriend, you normally end us marrying the first loser who comes to your door…

…Take your time, the world will wait. Being married doesn't guarantee that it will make your life happy. It doesn't guarantee anything at all. Sometimes, it only brings two miserable people together only to make their life even more miserable. Without the right intention, the emotional maturity, financial security and of course, unwavering love, you're better off unattached…

… Life is about things that you do and happen to you everyday. It's not about the things that could have happened but never did, or things that you think would happen in the future. Live life now. Live it to the fullest and stop beating yourself up, trying to be perfect on a Saturday night date. Allow life to surprise you with it's most wonderful blessings."

When I was younger, I was very cynical about relationships. I didn't want to get married because I felt that no man is strong enough to handle me. But honestly growing old alone has always been my worst fear so I guess saying such was part of the whole defense mechanism ploy so I wouldn't expect much from fate. My brod told me that I'm such a big commitment-phobe brat. My defense to that is that those who avoid commitment are the people who know how big it is.

Now, I have a different perception. I know that he's out there. (How cheesy does that sound?) I know someday, my life would be a little more difficult but a lot more interesting because of it. I guess the love I am waiting for better be passionate and extraordinary. As the dream for insomniac says, there are already too many mediocrities in life. Love shouldn't be one of them. So until I haven't found that sickening bittersweet quickmelt can't-live-without-each-other kind of love, I'll allow life to surprise me in other ways.

Avenue Q says, there's a thin thin line between love and a waste of time.

minamalas

Murphy's law states that things will go wrong in a any given situation if you give them a chance. I've already posted something about this eons ago but ever since I read 'The Secret' I tried to remove 'minamalas' from my vocabulary. Not until today!

My phone isn't working. Exhibit a: the speaker. Then I had to reset the settings and say goodbye to the messages I've kept. (I admit that once you read my inbox you will find out the cheesiest side of me. Yes! I am a sucker for quotable quotes and I reread personal messages to lift my spirit.) Then tonight I realized Exhibit B: my phone has poor signal pick-up in my room. How can I receive those important messages in the few hours I'm home? So when I went out, I tried to call some important people because I certainly I am missing a lot with few hours no signal. Then I realized Exhibit C: my earpiece too isn't working. But then again, thanks to earphones I can still answer calls. But the poor signal problem was back. Hello?! I was at Shangrila! Who would have poor signal there unless you have a dysfunctional phone. I hate to admit that I am so phone dependent. I call and text a lot of important people everyeffingday! Earlier today, I was whispering something to my phone. May the phone goddess bless you! aaargggh!

So I said, bring it on! Then, from the few messages that my phone could accept, I received a text from Beng telling me she couldn't come to our birthday party because the theme was so bad FengShui mode! Cmmon! Talking about alibis. I would have accepted if her reason were that she doesn't want to come because Cesar isn't coming. To blame it on our theme is simply ridiculous! So there, only few are coming to the party we planned. Come on! We have exerted too much effort planning for this! And then what?! Where have our friends gone?

Add to that our major case presentation for later that we aren't done yet. As in! Plus Boyen's projector isn't working. Plus… plus… plus…

Plus of course my career problem since eons ago is still there. It still bothers me when I'm not too bothered with the rest of the issues I stated. Being bothered with problems is now my lifestyle.

Sorry for the hate post I am eating in the WWW space. I just want to vent out. I know people around me won't understand.

Added after few hours:

I have a big bruise on my left knee from our a failed jump in our jump shots during last weekend. Kung kelan naman nakadress ako sa Saturday. : (

Suspended classes kanina. Good news sana kaso nalaman kong suspended nung on the way na ko. : (

We were hesitant of trasferring to a new place because we thought our landlady's family needs money for Christmas but then on my way out this evening, her husband told me that we can only stay til December. Pride na to e!

Feeling ko ako si Lindsay Lohan sa Just my Luck! : (