huling hirit

 Tomorrow, Rey is leaving for Singapore. Goodluck Rey! Kelan kaya makukumpleto ulit ang Siraan-ng-Buhay Gang?! haha… Sa Singapore na kami sunod na ee-area. Syempre libre mo na! haha… mwaaaah!

on getting old

Last weekend, my friends in the class organized a weekend Tagaytay getaway. I haven't gone home to Batangas as often as I used to because my weekends are always jumpacked but I couldn't resist the invitation. Besides I was feeling really down towards the end of the month. With the whatever that is that suddenly attacks people in their tweeners, I knew I needed another break (kahit di pa ko over sa Calatagan trip namin). Some of them knew what's bugging me lately. They, belonging to the same age group as mine, have the same existential questioning at times. So they insisted that we ought to join the company of those who don't belong in our generation (sorry naman!).

It was fun though I was awake 26 hours straight that day, slept for barely 6 hours before that, and was awake 22 hours straight before that. Whew! Then later that day, as part of chikahan blues, someone opened that she is happily separated. She's still working on the annulment papers. You get the picture. Someone opened about his issues on settling down. Blah blah blahs. I comment a little out of courtesy but at the back of my mind I was thinking, my problems are nothing compared to what they have. Theirs are just way too complicated. I felt my problems are really insignificant and had I opened I will sound like a spoiled brat. I suddenly became scared of getting old. I don't think I'm ready for complex life issues.

 ~o~

By the way I think the fact that I'm getting old is inevitable. Life is short so before I reach my finish line, it's high time that I do my MY LIFE's TO-DO LIST. And this is one of those:

Haha! Mukhang effortless pero katakot-takot na mura ang namutawi sa bibig ko nyan! I'm so proud, kami lang ni Anj nagpalagay ng ishnaku na yan. Conquer thy fear!

~o~

Lately, there are issues in EconSoc egroups! Is it just the issue per se that I don't like to comment on, or that I'm getting older, or that I've become apathetic? Hello! This is EconSoc! This is practically my life. Sometimes I don't even bother to read the emails. : (

~o~

September 2007 is really a fun-filled month for me. Funny because I said that I was feeling a bit down towards the end of the month. But without the bitter darling, the sweet moments ain't that sweet! hehe. So I still say that it's really a good month for me. In fact, this would easily top that charts for best month in 2007 although I'm excited about our November plans.  Perhaps because when we get older and priorities change and schedules become ridiculous, it's a blessing to find time to get along with people that really matter.

my "person"

There was one episode in Grey's Anatomy where Cristina Yang  wants Meredith Grey to be the first to know about her engagement because Meredith is her "person". Then Tin told me about her "person" who know her more than anyone else. This made me wonder who my "person" is.

I think I don't have that kind of "person" yet. Well, I have loooots of real good friends and I bet they know me well. I've shared secrets with them but I cannot pinpoint just one person who really know me very well. Someone who know almost all my secrets. Someone who know my truest insecurities and weaknesses. Someone who know when I want without me saying a word.  Someone who, when I'm already dead, can easily immortalize me with his/her stories about me that others would be surprised to find out. I'm not referring to a better-half sort of person. Just some Cristina-Meredith "person".

I don't know why I'm saying this. I have lots of best friends. As in! Every circle I have, there are always some whom I consider my best friends! And I feel truly blessed with that. But sometimes I just can't bring myself to share everything about my life, even to those I've known for years. Though I know I don't have a secret that not more than one soul knows, there is no sole soul that know all my secrets. Sort of like a hocrux. My scattered self! I don't know, maybe it's just my secretive self.

KFM

Last weekend, Son introduced us to a game called KFM. Someone says three names in the opposite sex and then you qualify who you are going to Kill, Fuck or Marry. Of course, those who were there can't be options. We were only three girls so I felt relieved that they can't choose among us who the guys want to K/F/M.

Anyway, one still insisted on asking which among the three options we belong. Of course all girls want to be someone's Marry person. I believe anybody's Marry person, even those you don't like, is a compliment that you really are a person-to-spend-the-rest-of-your-life type of person. So I said I'd like to think I am the Marry person but most probably, knowing Tin and Son were the other two options, and knowing that the boys who we were with don't see me as the relationship kind of girl, they would probably Kill me instead.

For days I am thinking of this inferiority complex. Will I ever be someone's Marry person? I know it's just a game. I know the game is kinda tricky and it really boils down to relativity but what are my odds in the game or in real life?

And then, they suggested later on that we can modify the game to Kiliti/Fuck/Marry. Then I thought again that I'm the Kiliti type. The friendly one. The ever-availbale buddy. I's rather choose that than F. But seriously, I can't help but feel a sudden swing of inferiority.

it was mere infatuation

This is a reply to Tin's post. I am glad that she fell in love with wakeboarding but for me it was mere infatuation. A temporary love and short-lived passion. Perhaps a strong admiration at the start the faded as fast as its strength.

At first I was drawn to wakeboarding. I thought this would be one of those water sports that I will not tire to do. I looked simple to do. But then I realized this game is not for the weak heart and weak hand. Surfing is more of a test of endurance. This one is more of strength.

At first, I was proud after being one of the first to pass the 1st dangerous curve. I kept repeating 'the secret' mantra that things would be easy and I could do it. We were also reciting 'Don't Quit', a poem we memorized when we were still applicants in EconSoc, to loosen up and keep on trying. Yet on our second day session, after two tries, I knew that I had to give up or else worse could happen. I could barely have my way on easy paths much more pass the dangerous curves. My hands were already shaking and then I knew I had to resign. I was disappointed with myself because I'd like to think that if you put your heart and mind into something, pursuing it would be easy. Perhaps there are just things that don't fit your strengths and weaknesses. Then again, we'll never know. Perhaps I'll still try wakeboarding in the future. Perhaps I'd know better by then. Perhaps I'd make it by that time.

To the wakeboard buddies, I supah enjoyed our sweet escape to Calatagan. Tenchu tenchu! Here's to Tin's great planning skills (Your great planning skill is as good as your hilarious jokes), to Son's prolific butterfly hairclips (each with their own mobile phones making business calls), to Tristan's out-of-this world thoughts and two rounds of beer, to Dino's more makabasag-kups meter hirits, foodies, and tequila, to Gabe's undeniably unbeatable jump shot (ang batayan ng totoong matapang ang loob), to Cesar's love for us because time and again he was there though he had to attend to something on Sunda. Here's to more trips to come, to videos to shoot, more games to gamble on! Cheers!