bora party poopers and poppers

Normally, after a weekend escapade, the first thing I do when I'm in front of my pc is to blog about it. This time I'm not like that. I don't feel writing about it. I haven't decided yet if I enjoyed it or not. Indifference is quite a scarier reaction, I think. Tsk tsk.

It's not my thing to regret things but this time, there is just so much that I gave up and I don't know if it's worth it. Also, prior to the weekend escapade, there were three, as in THREE, major incidences that seemed to be stopping me from joining. First, our annual office summer picnic was initially set on that date and it's a no-no to miss that. Eventually they moved it on a later date. Second, which is of greatest weight, our family moved our out of the country summer escapade to the same date. I was in a great dilemma for a week! Here I am always saying that family matters are non-negotiable. Plus, this is an all-expense paid trip courtesy of my mom. But then I chose to join the bora-friendster party trip even if my other friends insisted that I join my family. Maybe because most people joined because I invited them. I was supposed to be the common person and there was an element of responsibility in me joining them. Third, the day before we left, there was an error in the ATM when I tried to withdraw. The machine debit out an amount I wasn't able to get hold of. The worse side is it was also my registration day for MBA so I was in a predicament whether to late reg and use my enrollment money for the weekend or pay my tuition and loan from someone or not join at all. But then again there was Gabe who loaned me for the weekend.

So you can see even before we left there were many party poopers. Talking about party pooper! Well, the list is endless and I'd rather not talk about it.  I don't wnat feel awfule everytime I reread this entry in the future.

There were many party poppers, at least my reasons to celebrate for the long weekend.

*Parasailing - the feeling was awesome! I just felt very peaceful up there. The feeling of nothingness was really great. After few harutans with parasailing buddies, we ended up praying up there!

*Walang habas, 'animal', 'especial' na gimiks.

*Bonding time with Corleai (wherein we have a feeling that the next time would be quite a while) and good news chikahan with QB Adan!

*Panyang's birthday with her 'walang hampas' teammates. haha

***And at least I know who among my friends would never ever fail me: To BJ/Beng, Bogart/Maui, Char, Gabo, Shale, Corleai, Adan, Rey (sige na nga, may party poppers points ka na rin), thank you so much! Our next escapade might take some time but it's woth the wait. I love you all! To Marilyn, Germs and Lulet, thanks for the one-time-big-time night.

****To my family, sorry for being 'the' pooper! I will never fail you again. Though you seemed to have a great time, I am really very sorry. You don't seemed to be bothered that I chose my friends over you because of my great talent of palusots, and this hurts me more. I am really really sorry. I love you!

trading-off

As an Economics undergrad, asked the question 'how do you define economics in one word?', my immediate answer would be 'trade-off'. Will the liguists agree that trade-off is just one word? I don't know. Anyway, most theories in economics is tantamount to trade-off: isoquant, indifference curve, budget line, isocost. Economics in general is defined as allocation of scarce resources. This definition in fact support that there is something equal in exhange for something that is of value to you.

Through the years, trade-off has become one of my favorite words. It's just so practical to use. Everything is/has a trade-off. My point is, in life, you simply can't have everything especially when I talk about emotional trade-offs. Call it biorhythm, wheel of fortune, life cycle. Whatever. Simply put, nothing is constant and consistent. You may be happy now but don't be too complacent because you'll never know what's for tomorrow. You may have something of value to you but eventually there something you want that you can't have unless you give up something (or maybe that's human insatiability.. haha).

Well, my days have become more of, well, trading off. If I receive a good news, the next I know, something unfortunate and ill-timed is up just before I can fully appreciate the good fate I received. Perhaps, I shouldn't be excited anymore the next time a good news comes.

bitter-sweet

Has love become a matter of convenience? Do people choose whom they marry in a I'm-at-my-marrying-age-This-is-the-person-The-re's-no-better-choice-but-to-marry-him/her? Has personal commitments degraded to this level?

I met someone who has an extra-marital affair. The first time we met, he was talking about his family based in Mindanao. The next time I met him, he was with a "friend". We had dinner once and I got to talk to the girl. They were college batchmates. So I thought maybe they are really just friends catching with each other's lives from time to time. Later on, I get to see the girl more often. There was a simple understanding among us not to ask since we've only just met and we can't even really consider each other friends.

One time, he was questioning why we call  psuedo-relationship as "friendship" the showbiz way. Then, the joke was on him. He jokingly explained that they as friends in the legal terms of it. He is already married! Eventually he confided that they were college sweethearts. He got somebody pregnant and had to dutifully and traditonally marry the girl. But he never gave up his college sweetheart. Since his wife and kids live in Mindanao, they live together now. They are both 36 years old and have been together half their lives.

Here's a bitter-sweet truth. Here are two people, each other's great loves yet fate brought them bitter realities that love isn't enough.  The girl was never a home-wrecker because there was no home to wreck in the first place when their relationship started.  I pity her because she's 36, childless, though living with the love of her life can't be assured when their set-up will last. I pity her because she could have chosen to move on a long time ago. I pity her but I don't blame her.

I pity the guy's wife because she was the one he married. The guy should not have married her in the first place.

For some weird reasons I pity the guy. Normally, I would have hated him for his bigamous acts. But when he was sharing how  complicated his life can get, I had a sudden feeling of sympathy. When he said that psuedo-relationships (MU or kayo-pero-parang-hindi-kayo relationships) shouldn't put It's Complicated in their Friendster status because if there are people who are in complicated relationships, it's people like him. I don't know if my opinion now will be my opinion tomorrow but I guess that little sharing somehow reduced my cynicism about what is possible in human realtionships. Maybe we'll really never know what is possible and acceptable. Maybe that's the bitter-sweet truth.

Wishful Thinking

After our brain-draining Proficiency exam last Sunday, my new-found friends and I decided to grab a few bottles of beer and have a break after our this-could-easily-be-top-of-the-chart-toxic-month is over. I am really glad to have discovered these manager-wanna-be’s. We all came from different age groups (I’m one of the youngest, hehe), industries, universities. What we have in common is smoking. There are many smokers in the class but most of the time, we are the group who join in-between and after classes. We were actually coined as the ’smoking group’ by our Accounting professor.

Anyway, after trying to refrain from asking questions regarding the exam, wondering when the results will come and unlearning formula, we ended up talking about each other’s personal lives. One shared a pseudo-relationship with an upper-class. One confided a bigamous relationship. Eventually we planned a surfing trip by August (assuming we all pass and the company will last for long).

I am really happy to have met these people and I really pray all of us pass. After the pamorningan review sessions, the ‘joke time’ moments in Ivy’s class, the cheating and free-rider hirits, the workshop has been really value-added. Wishfully thinking this will last for a long time!

wishful thinking

After our brain-draining Proficiency exam last Sunday, my new-found friends and I decided to grab a few bottles of beer and have a break after our this-could-easily-be-top-of-the-chart-toxic-month is over. I am really glad to have discovered these manager-wanna-be's. We all came from different age groups (I'm one of the youngest, hehe), industries, universities. What we have in common is smoking. There are many smokers in the class but most of the time, we are the group who join in-between and after classes. We were actually coined as the 'smoking group' by our Accounting professor.

Anyway, after trying to refrain from asking questions regarding the exam, wondering when the results will come and unlearning formula, we ended up talking about each other's personal lives. One shared a pseudo-relationship with an upper-class. One confided a bigamous relationship. Eventually we planned a surfing trip by August (assuming we all pass and the company will last for long).

I am really happy to have met these people and I really pray all of us pass. After the pamorningan review sessions, the 'joke time' moments in Ivy's class, the cheating and free-rider hirits, the workshop has been really value-added. Wishfully thinking this will last for a long time!